Thursday, May 15, 2008

Goat Roller

One of my most hated Goats (review a few posts back for the "goat concept") is trying to manage my very tight quads and IT Bands. My legs have been tight pretty much since high school. Or at least, that's when I became aware of having steel sheets running from my hips to my knees. I used to actually brag about them. Now, not so much.

Many of us are well aware that we have special areas that require constant maintenance. But most of us still pretend that the magic stretching fairy is going to come down and cure our tight quads. Right. Oh and setting a PR on Fran won't make you any more loose either.

You've got to work at it every day. I keep my foam roller right next to the couch. I can't miss it.

See if you can match the caption with the photos below.

1) I'm so drunk, I feel so happy I should kill this buzz somehow, and quickly. Hey! Mr. Foam Roller of death! What's up fishin' buddy?

2) Dooder, I'm so blissed out mellow. I mean, when the pain stops and I'm no longer bleeding from the eyes, I feel so good! Let's make a sexy squat time!

3) I will end you. I should just amputate my legs, it will hurt less!

Bottom line, get a foam roller and seek out all of your "goat" areas. Roll around till you throw up. Now crush those sore spots and make them beg. You'll get faster, stronger, will feel better, and you'll be free knowing that you are able to survive torture.

Make a public pledge in the comments below to work on your stretching/trigger point/inflexibilty. ex: My name is Kelly and I have tight quads.

Coach trigger-point-star.


Nick said...

I don't think anything makes me scream like a girl faster than rolling my IT band with a foam roller. Holy shit that sucks.

FilthyBrit said...

Just got one of these, but the instructions were crap. So, here's a video of some fit birds showing us how it's done!

Go for it!

Patrick said...

that is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen

AJ said...

First post here! Funny stuff. Hope to see you at the games!

Aaron said...

Hey Michael, why don't you man up and go for the 4" PVC pipe instead. ;)

Anonymous said...

I "love" my foam roller.

Hamstrings, "Say hello to my little friend . . . "